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[icon] Éamane Feiniel
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Subject:Once more unto the breach, friends
Time:05:44 pm

Eamane knew she should get some sleep.

yet her body opened a full out rebellion and remained in stubborn awareness, throughout the long hours as the darkness finally gave way to the grey of dawn. The maiden dragged herself out of bed and into her travelling garments, deciding it was time to admit defeat and make the best of it. Then she went to make sure none of her belongings had magically gained legs during the night and sneaked away. When at last eamane was content all her belongings were packed as should, she pulled the bags over her shoulder and walked soundlessly towars the stables to saddle up her horse.

Elves may prefer to ride without a saddle, but with all those bags, she could not forgo one.

Then it was dawn, and the cooks were baking something so sweet-smelling it should be a sin, and she was taken away, captive and willing, to the kitchens.

 

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Current Music:The dream within, Lara fabian
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Time:01:41 pm
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative

At times I truly do not know what to think. And these days, here in Rivendell where I sought to acquire the calm to decide my fate once more, I find myself even more disturbed than previously.

If before lord Elrond acted complacent, even neglectful, now he urges us on as if the Black Riders were on our very heels.

Ught. Maybe that was not a very good metaphor.

Regardless, we must choose our companions before dusk. I might be able to know what to do and whom to chose if I knew what exactly Elrond had in mind. A party of seasoned warriors, to ensure the messengers will arrive safely? Surely, but somehow I do not think it is Elrond's main concern. A party of gentle souls, that will somehow soothe Thranduil's incoming ire? Likely, but that does not strike me as Elrond's plan either. Tactitians and politicians? Hmm.... I do believe I heard he's sending his twin sons.

Thranduil will not be pleased when he learns Elrond willingly sent his only son and heir- the apple of his eyes-, straight into the core of the Enemy's lands. In many ways I sympathize with him more than should be polite or considerate, and I care for elrond far more than Thranduil does. Yet I am no ruler, nor do I knwo the pressures of having so many lives in my hands; and Elrond is one who has lived through many ages of the world and known many things that the years bring, back when our enemy was but a lieutenant and terror was a constant, until the gods had to intervene lest we all perished.

This faith in my young lord prince is what warms me in the dark ours of the night, when my heart trembles with a nameless fear. Elrond said no Companion was bount by any means to go any longer than the mountain pass, up to the point where the road was still one for all. But if he truly bel;ieves my lord legolas will leave them he is unforgiveably shortsighted, or has not known my lord at all and the decision was hasty (and one must hope that greater powers influenciated it if so). My prince will se the road's end, whatever it may be.

My king has so educated him. Thranduil will know it at once, and the depths of his rage will be great indeed.

Which brings me back to the smaller, more mundane tasks of Middle-earth's balance. What to do to keep the elven clans from sundering even more? would it be possible to reach over the gap and bring us all closer? I have a feeling Mithrandir would like us to enlarge the notion to the whole of Middle earth and all of its Free People.

It should have been nice if he'd left behind a few instructions on how to achieve that.

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Subject:Discussing the party- Aka recruiting.
Time:12:20 pm

As soon as she is out of earshot and has some privacy, Eamane lifts her bewildered gaze to the councillor. She knew next to nothing about those who should make it with them to the Halls of Thranduil, and Elrond had said the trip had to be done within two days.

So, she said nervously. Who do you have in mind?

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Subject:Swirling by...
Time:07:52 pm
Current Mood:mischievousmischievous

It may be time to teach the mighty Noldor a thing or two...

The night grows old, but I feel so fresh! I feel like dancing... My, the minstrel does have a lovely voice, for all his silliness.... but who cares? It is just a moment under the stars. Soon enough I will remember, and grow cold again.

 

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Subject:Crystal Castle Wonderings
Time:05:32 pm
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative

It is cold outside, but I am happy enough to play outside. I wonder if you told me your age rightly, he said, as if joy was to be taken out of someone as the years pass by. Maybe it is too naive of me, but ever have I thought that we should keep our light, our delight in the small things of life, as well as the grand ones.

Sometimes it strikes me that the small joys may be more important- more vital- than the grand ones.

When I have danced and twirled and laughed to my heart`s content, I settle to put some of the abundant snow to some merry use. The snow sparkles pleasantly in the moon and starlight, for the moon is nearly full and the sky is clear. The air grows chillier, and then more chilly still, reminding me of a certain night upon the mountains and the whispers that my confunded mind certainly made up in the cold vigil of the night.

As the memory revisits me- along with the long buried memories of my dreams back then- I realise my crystall fortress is finished. I add a few people in it, just because a city needs people, and tell Erestor just that. I could hear him pacing, for a while- no, stolling. Erestor rarely paces, and if he does I shall know it is time to be very worried indeed. But for now all that is is the silence, broken every now and then by some nightime creature`s cry far off the distance.

It is the silence that disturbs me.

Looking up I find him watching me, as if evaluating me.

Sometimes, I wonder if you told me your age rightly.

And because the sting burns still, I take the words back at him. Why so dry? why so serious? I have been fascinated with the depth once, still am, if I wished to be ruthlessly honest. I have found some sweet comfort in the everlasting steadfastness of his calm character. Delighted in the rare demonstrations of humour- something, it seemed to me back then, and still does, that somehow only I could see. I have provoked, teased, shared comfortable and not-so-comfortable knowing silences with him.

Memories, plans, confessions.

And then, of course, I was reminded that path was shut. I will not be reminded again. Even if I long to....

Long to?

No.

Damn. Maybe I should have taken Lindir up on his bloody stargazing offer.

The answer both warms and pains me, because it is real, is honest. There is so much more than comfortable and respectable to life, mellon-nin, if only you could see!

But yet, maybe you are right. Sometimes feeling is too much, and being... uncomplicated, as you put it, may make life a lot simpler. Not so painful, even if a lot of its brightness is lost in it. If only My mind could take the reigns of my life for good, but still somehow keep my heart alive, so that these small and grand joys would not be lost in the exchange... If only I could have both flower and star...

If only I could just take a nice nightime stroll with Lindir, or any other elf within my reach, and found it in me to be content with that...

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Time:05:39 pm
Current Mood:bitchybitchy

I need something to do. Urgently.

I do not think i'd survive another month of doing nothing. One grows used to the movement.

If only my mind was any qwuieter now than it was when I first arrived... If only I could find an answer, any purpose to this endless repetition.

The valley lays still before me. Not even the silly Tra-la-la-lly songs.

Yuck.

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Current Music:Dant Gil-Galad, sung by some Lindir...
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Time:03:11 pm
Current Mood:restlessrestless

I walk in the silent expectation of Rivendell. Eerie how the very air I breathe seem to have become quieter, whislt we all wait for something to take shape. I cannot seem to shake off this feeling, nor is there anything else I might occupy my mind with, for all other subjects of thought bring me much confusion.

I can feel it still. This silent, treacherous desire to go yonder. More specifically, West. It is not so yet that my heart has lost the wonder or the love for this familiar shore, nor that I am so broken that I cannot linger. This merely the whisper of something  I do not yet know, which yet feels familiar.

They say there are no words for the beauty of the Blessed Realms. And this lands, however beautiful and full of mystery, are so tainted by much blood and evil, by all that has passed upon them.

This was my main reason for asking leave to stay in Rivendell for a while. Or rather, to ask leave to ask leave from Elrond, if he'll suffer me in his Halls again. I need some space for myself where I can ponder undisturbed.

Partially undisturbed, if Erestor keeps asking me to try this or that tea recipe. Honestly. Either get it over with or take it at once. In this case, 'tis rather clear it will be naught but a slight flirting- when we can bear it- and reminiscences or compared thoughts on this or that thesis. I must admit I like it more now that I can actually understand most of what he speaks.

I must decide whether it is worth denying this pull or if I am merely fooling myself. Is what I have enough to keep me happy for as long as this age lasts, and this longing can be fought off; or I have depleted all options that might have given my heart delight, and there is nothing for me but sterile repetition?

Ordinarily I do not quite mind taking some time for iddle contemplation, but I find today I am restless. I better go try my luck at the Halls fo Fire. There is always someone reading poetry or singing or simply chatting the time away.

(...)

My luck indeed. Some elf is singing the Ellegy of Gil-Gallad...

O Gil-galad i Edhelchír
dim linnar i thelegain:
Im Belegaer a Hithaeglir
Aran ardh vethed vain a lain.

Gariel maegech Gil-galad,
Thôl palan-gennen, ann-vegil;
A giliath arnoediad
Tann thann dîn be genedril.

Dan io-anann os si gwannant
A mas, ú-bedir ithronath;
An gîl dîn na-dúath di-dhant,
vi Mordor, ennas caeda gwath.

 

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Subject:Making a fool of myself, yet again
Time:10:22 am
Current Mood:discontentdiscontent

Oh, dear. Some things never change.

Maybe this is the time to discreetly suggest that he goes enjoy the gifts in the privacy of  his  rooms, yet... By the valar! Just be done with him!

I stare at my own folded hands, wondering if my commpanion will ever find it in himself to answer me... I'd serve me well if he didn't. I know I pushed the boundaries. This kind of intimacy belongs to a time long past.

If ever there was such a thing.

I sighed, hopefully not with too much of a wistful tone to it, and closed my eyes for a moment.

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Time:04:28 pm
Current Mood:anxiousanxious

I seriously thought of leaving it at home. The bottle was intimate enough a memory, but the book... the book was something else entirely.

It was a proof. To myself, as well as others, of what I was capable of. Thranduil was pleased. Ever had he relished the ways of our people, simpler and more in tune with the spirit of the earth, with the basic and stronger shades of the nature. We need not fancy buildings or artistically inrticated debates. We love. We live. We sing under the stars.

Simple as that.

Too bad that some of  the fairest and wisest of all beings dismiss our choice as short-sight.

The endless months buried in parchment... I felt I was going mad. The interviews were better, it is always good to chat with such lovely people as the green-elves. And when they learned of the nature of the project... The burden of the responsibility was truly felt then. Before, it was a project of mine, a private quest. And more than a little will to keep him with me in any small way, if I am totally honest.

And now I sit here, with my heart in my hands, trying to appear calm whilst a dozen insane dwarves try to break a way out of my head with their axes. firewater works very quickly indeed. Erestor had very little of it to know precisely its qualities... but then again, he was the wiser in this matter. If only I did not feel this childish urge to boast. And all the while, he holds the result of my best efforts in a state of stupified daze. (he looks absolutely stunning like that... so vulnerable...)

And I wait.

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Subject:Speak of the devil...
Time:03:56 pm
Current Mood:confusedconfused

It was too good to last. I had  not dewlt in Imladris for a full day and already met with Erestor.

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